Stir-fry: le gourmet célibataire

For this week’s blog entry, I am bringing back an old standby. A few years ago, I was feeling bored with my usual easy dinners, and decided to wade into the exciting and flavourful waters of a great bachelor’s classic: the stir-fry. The stir-fry is a very simple, decadent, and lively production, and a great way to take care of leftover vegetables while potentially creating even more leftover vegetables in the process. I have probably made a dozen or so stir-frys, so I am going to give you some pro-tips along the way, and would gladly welcome any suggestions you might have. I’m always workin’ on my stir-fry!

Before leaving work today, I considered what I already had back at the apartment: 1/2 red pepper, 1/2 red onion, garlic, frozen peas, limes, jalapeños, multitudinous oils, vinegars and sauces (anyone who has already made a stir-fry or three has lots of fancy stir-fry ingredients on hand). Everything else needed for this meal should be found for dirt cheap at the Gross-Out (discount supermarket a.k.a. “Grocery Outlet”). When I got there, I picked up a green bell pep (50¢), zucchini (50¢), a pound of bean sprouts (99¢), and a bag of California Stir Fry Vegetables ($1.99, this is a great deal, the veggies are already chopped and you can freeze ‘em real good for later). The deal of the day was one dozen cage free eggs for only $1.79! You will need an egg for the stir-fry (pro-tip #1). The only thing Gross-Out didn’t have was tofu. Bummer! I had to go down the street and pay full price. While I was at the “regular” supermarket, I got a few crimini mushrooms as well.

The time consuming part of this process is the chopping. Chop all of your vegetables up the way you like. Take your time and chop the garlic very finely (always). It is worth the effort. I had a problem with the jalaps. They were in the freezer. I froze them whole and thawed them out in water, like Paul said I should. Unfortunately, they ended up being mushy, and the seeds were an unappetizing brown colour. I chopped them up anyways, and they ended up being fine, but is there a better way to preserve a pepper so they stay crisp? I was a little unsure about the tofu. Truth be told, I have never cooked tofu before, nor have I ever purchased it. When I got to the store, I realized there were three options: soft, firm and very firm. I had to call around until I finally got a hold of my friend, #211321, a real gourmand’s gourmand. He said I should buy the firm, because the very firm tends to break up in the wok while frying (pro-tip #2). I just chopped the wholly unappetizing block of tofu into 1/2 inch cubes, and put half of it in the freezer (we’ll see how that works out).

The next step is to cook the meat (or tofu) and set it aside. For this, we use our seasoned cast-iron skillet. Think about what you want your tofu to taste like, because tofu is nothing but an eager flavour sponge (pro-tip #3). I used some of what I already had in the fridge: bacon fat. Put enough bacon fat on the skillet so that when you get it all hot and sizzly, the individual tofu cubes glide across the surface of your pan easily. I had no idea what the tofu should look like when it was fully cooked, but since it’s just mashed-up soybeans, there’s no need to worry about salmonella or anything like that. I just fried them until they were somewhat nutty brown-coloured. I then moved the skillet aside to make room for the wok.

Unfortunately, I purchased my wok without knowing what the hell I was doing, and ended up buying a teflon wok. A good wok should be made out of carbon steel, or at least stainless steel or some other non-non-stick type of metal (pro-tip #4). To properly fry a stir-fry, you need to get that sucker wicked hot. Vegetable oil will smoke at high temperatures, so use peanut oil or some other hot-burning oil. I like using a nice, aromatic peanut oil, because I want the peanut flavour to stand out in my stir-fry (pro-tip #5). Once it gets going, dump all vegetables except the garlic, bean sprouts and mushrooms. Stir around for a few seconds, then start dumping all of your other oils and sauces, one at a time. Definitely use a big dollop of peanut butter at this point. Soy sauce, chili paste, rice vinegar, etc. Squeeze the lime juice in there.

There’s a million ways to spice it up. Keep everything sizzling until the peppers are pretty soft, then throw in the other veggies and the tofu. In a few more seconds, push everything to the side of the wok and crack an egg in there. Scramble it up and push it all back together. You’re done!

The hardest part about this meal is making it for only one person. For many meals, it’s OK to make a lot, because it stores well. Stir-fry does not freeze very well and it’s really only good in the fridge for a day or two (pro-tip #6). I will be eating stir-fry for lunch and dinner tomorrow, and that should take care of it. Good luck and happy frying!

-Sav